arm thyself

had i tried, i might've been
where you are now; i might've seen

a future-self, a something-else-than-where-i've-been-and-what-i've-seen.

how much should i give away? how much wind
'neath withered wings
will it take
for upward movement; lift; flight--

why should i go; where do i miss you; and why not?

far away; heart, head; i never knew you.

from where does this loss flow how may it be stemmed why do i care sitting here again i've made a loop conked my head why again why again where am i to go what means stream of i can't continue doing this it doesn't work in plugs and meters i have none no rhyme undone i have no meter i have no measure i have no song to sing

anymore.

arm thyself against yourself,
prepare for battle every day.
amidst the fires, amidst the rains and gas-filled trenches
of the everyday--

you've yet to find any peace. i'm telling you
it will never come; the battle rages on.

in the silence between bombs;
in familiar impact (lead kiss chest)
inside your tomb (lead lick flesh)
and among dead friends (lead bite bone)
you'll find your peace (lead hit home).

you've gone nowhere, you cannot run you've done nothing, you're never done you cannot you can not you can not do a thing you are paralyzed by what you fear by yourself by what you love by the way i forgot to mention the tracks are hot and waiting for you they are hot they long to kiss you heat rises from the tracks on your arm there is nothing and your futures are one and everything and belonging to another being which you have yet to become through falling from where you once were and you and you and you can do nothing to stop yourself from movement in any direction you are pong bouncing, bouncing without the laws of physics and it is yours to take control of yours to find the meaning yours to do something with

but you refuse you refuse you refuse

and why?

arm thyself against your Self.
the enemy has you trapped.
he is in your heart;
he is in your home, and suddenly--

none of it is yours anymore.
and in a few years, it happens again.

do nothing; do something; be damned.