18.11.016 Old Nothing

Today, regretfully, I woke up.
I'd dreamt of stacking cat food cans,
Of paste- and gravy-covered hands,
Texting straight friends, asking
For a reparative fucking.

Today, I awoke to a hunger I did not desire to quell--
To more fear, to an empty bed,
To the old feeling of absence;
Husband, warm at my back, where are you?
I have not missed you in so long.

Today, I rose to yowling cats, purring
As they ate their cereal, purring
In one another's presence--
Attacking my feet, my hands,
Chewing wires and pushing plants from stands.

Today, I wake to hours passed,
To the old braying of my heart,
To the brute punishment of Time and Space.
Old paralysis, old Nothing, I've found you again--
Or perhaps you never left me at all.